i'm packing plastic

mtsilveronrs:

but why would we ever remove the wisest of our teeth

bestlols:

professorutoniurn:

*walks into McDonalds* hi can I get one McBoyfriend please?

suizdejinn:

rocksymom:

Home is where your wi-fi connects automatically.

This needs to be on a shirt

forever90s:

AT FIRST:

BUT THEN:

oomshi:

*seductively whispers in your ear* what do you want from mcdonalds

urbancatfitters:

when u tell someone the same story twice and they’re like “i know u told me” uh im going to tell u again bc my stories are great and u should be grateful im spending so much time on u

sleepythug:

can I get nutrition facts on that pussy?

skwagger:

You really only understand how drunk you are when you’re peeing

this is so applicable to last night i just screamed