June 2012
mom: ok u wait in line i forgot to get the milk
me: ok
me:
me:
me:
me: mom where are you please
me: mom please the line is moving fast
me: mom i cant breathe where r u it's almost my turn
employee: next
me:
employee:
me: faints
Scientists say that there’s a possibility of Mars having enough water to support life. But there’s no wifi so no one cares bye
When you stop arguing with someone and they say...
sodamnrelatable:
via sodamnrelatable
That awkward moment when you fall in love with a...
sodamnrelatable:
via sodamnrelatable
tiger-festival:
Okay listen the most important detail of this matter is being made very unclear
Are they actually selling rainbow Oreos now or not
doctor: so what kind of birth control are you using?
me: my appearance
Mom: *calls my name*
Me: *closes computer, gets up, opens door, walks downstairs, jumps through hoop of fire, fights muhammad ali in his prime, wrestles a bear, out runs usain bolt, climbs mount everest*
Mom: Hand me that thing literally 5 feet from where I'm sitting.
Me:
